wow what a random day...

ok so let me tell you kids about one random event that happend yesterday then about two that happened today...


id never seen a beaver before...

ok so theres been this poor poor animal on the side of the road for a few days now. ( im sorry why i notice these things i will never know...) anyway so ive been looking at it going what is that? its so oddly shaped and i dont think that its a dog... but its to big to be a possum or something like that... whatever... i let it go every day trying to study it as i drove by...

so yesterday i was driving home from church after making some really gross milkshakes for youth group ( some of which including.... pepermint, smarties, caramel, vanilla, sigh... "chocolate" worshester sauce "mint" turnip greens... "strawberry" hot sauce with hot tamales... )
im a wonderful youth pastor arent i? lol

so driving home and i see it... i finally realize what it is...








its a cat...




HAHAHAHAHA im kidding... OH MY GOODNESS IT WAS A BEAVER!!!!!!!!!! A BEAVER!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?!


needless to say it was a very exciting moment for me...

end.



today...

as im in starbucks working these two guys come in... there was a debate on whether they were on acid or smoking pot... no lie. so being that they are not capable of driving we decide to call the cops and get their plate number and let the cops deal with them...

so we were starting to panick thinking OH NO!!! they are leaving!!!! how will we get the plate number???




how did we get it you ask?


oh gee well they were driving about...oh... three miles an hour... no lie. took them ten min to get out of our parking lot... once they left the cops pulled in. i assume they found them.
it wasnt hard to find... big red truck going at three miles an hour... yeah


later that day another car pulls in what looks like a cop car turns out to be a park ranger... they park in the final parking space in our parking lot.
pop the trunk. all the while staring at me in the drive through window...

i look away for a moment...

look back and see another man. i ponder a moment and think how funny if that man was sitting in the trunk.

a few min go by... two maybe three tops and i look back.

the park rangers are leaving.
and have left this man... with a sleeping bag blanket and suitcase alone. sitting in the grass in our parking lot.


nice right? oh it gets better.

after a few min he decides to leave. but he takes about ohhh... five steps... and starts dancing. yes you heard that right. he is now dancing in my drive through. awesome.

he crosses the street. smokes a cigerette. and walks into the parking lot of the resturant next to us.
walks up to the poor fed ex man...( i dont know if you have seen a fed ex truck but there are no doors...)

and he starts dancing to the fed ex man. so we send someone out to talk to him bring him food.
( meanwhile a bet was placed. five dollars if the man is homeless or not...)

yup he was homeless came from new york how he got to alabama. i will never know. but here he is. dancing in our parking lot.
he talks a while to the man we sent out and then follows him back to starbucks where he asks for change for a 20.00

where he got this 20... well think of something creative. but the change he asks for goes something like this...
he needed 19 ones... three quarters... and five nickles. i dont know why again... think of something creative.

he stayed at starbucks for a few hours. i dont know where he ended up going. its raining here and i feel bad knowing he has nowhere to stay in the rain.

anyway... so


then my friend and i go to the movies...

oh you thought it was over???


when we leave some random guy is walking around with a spear. KIDS!!! I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!!!!!

a spear...

he sees us staring at it... and says simply...

hey...




wanna touch my spear?



( im so not kidding i cant make this stuff up...)

look it hasnt killed anyone yet. lol

so we talk to this random stranger in the movie theatre parking lot for oh twenty min or so talking from age to jobs to family history... he was born in california to schitzophrenic alcoholic parents and when he was born was immediatly taken into custody of the state now he lives here with his adoptive parents who are missionaries in africa where he got the spear.

yeah.

we also talked about some good movies in theatres about how someone asked if he was a serial killer. a pastor... a serial killing pastor... sigh... this is all true...

he talked about how he worked at wal mart how you shouldnt drop out of school he was homeschooled has or is in the process of getting a college degree online ( im sorry i cant remember which)

how he was going to invite my friend to church for easter but i beat him to it... lol


wow.

my day was.... insane...





so tell me about yours....

random not writing...

as if pouring out my soul on paper gets me anywhere...

when ink is flowing like my blood
the thoughts so overwhelming
creation pouring like a flood
into this soul im delving

somehow i need to write it all
about this complex world
about our strengths and when we fall
and mysteries unfurled

but what to write when you cant think
of what to write at all
you know your mind is on the brink
but still your fingers stall

they fumble here and ponder there
brisky gently every key
a dance that simply cant compare
with creativity

and every stroke of every pen
will tell another tale
stories to read once and again
reality covered in a veil

alas i fear that i must leave you now
for i have nothing to write about
at least that this time will allow
untill later kids im out...

stories from a bedroom...

if i were a room my wall paper would be peeling at the corners
if i were a book my pages would be water marked and torn
if i were a bed i would uncomfortable and awkward.
if i were a door i would creak and moan from to many pushed years

if feel as if im stuck in a room with wall paper peeling away at the corners. slowly flaking away. slowly falling apart. as if my story is stained and hollow. i feel so hollow. and true how does one feel hollow? once i find the words ill explain it to you. but alas these words are all i have and they too are hollow. fine black ink upon water marked, tear stained pages of my life. the smell of cheap paper and pungent utterly hopless scent of ink. ink that could be blood. dripping away upon the paper of my life. and how i always feel ever so uncomfortable. ive made the bed i must lie in. and how this bed is? to many years of use. now abandoned and useless. torn and broken sharp springs jolting you at every turn. how you long for a night sleep yet know its not possible. but if i were a door. alas if mine eyes were a door to my soul... this tortured broken door creaking at every slight breathe. a whisp of wind a slight movement and the creaking moaning tortured door, pushed far beyond the years creaks ever so much more. this poor broken door longing to be fixed to be mended. alas no one is here to fix this door.
and alas these poor poor eyes. in which have seen so much and not enough. will they never be wanted? will no one look into these eyes and see the pain hiding behind them? will no one see the rented smile upon my face? i borrow smiles from you so you believe that im am happy. i smile only so you smile. i laugh so you can laugh. for its never about these broken souls. these broken doors, opening the passage to another more simple life. its always about others.

but in being about others will it in turn be about me? ive decided no. it cant be about me. someone must be stupid for others to be smart. someone must be lazy for others to work. someone must be sad for others to be happy. someone must die for others to live. ive come to accept that its not about i. nor about so many others in which we too will learn to live these lives. as those who watch what goes on around us. we try to fix things and yet always fail. i am but four walls. i hold up what i can but in the end i too will perish. i too, will be destroyed by weather. or people. the more needy. and as a bedroom i will protect you from these but in the end. when i am worn
when my wall paper is peeling or pages are tearing or bed is poking or doors are moaning. someone somewhere will find a better use to destroy me. to build a better room. a better person who will be stronger. more sufficent.
as if one were suffocating yet still breathing. as if one were drowning yet dry.
as if one were dying. yet...
still wakes up everyday longing for a little more.
not given this privlidge.
yearning for something.
yet how do you yearn or want something when you yourself dont know what it is?


i asked someone today why do people feel the need to have a boyfriend or girlfriend or someone or something to make them feel complete?

they replied. people are just like that. it is normal to feel you need something to complete you.

i asked someone today what if you dont want to have someone or something to complete you?

they replied. i would call that wise.





i sure dont feel wise.
and yet i dont feel complete.


somehow... i feel nothing.














but alas if i were to compare what i feel to something.

it would resemble,
wall paper peeling off a wall.

negative... :)

whos to says its what i wanted anyway?

update...

so lots of stuff going on. everyone in the house has gotten sick i was hopeing to avoid it... well so much for that plan. its frustrating when you do so much for other people and get nothing back in return. i mean. im not like oh hey i covered a shift for you now you HAVE to pay it back. but if im sick which i dont usually get. and if i do i dont call off work... and i cant go to work? it must mean its pretty bad. and no one would cover for me. but oh well.

ive been in this bad depression lately and i think its over. but it sucked while it lasted. i just have to keep my mind on other things. and as much as people keep asking me i am doing fine with all the things i am doing. with kids church and youth and work. they dont understand that i need to be doing all this. if not i get more stressed and depressed. if i am busy i forget about the depression.

anyway. things are well... going... with relay.

so far it is just me on the team. the family is going to join which is good. but again its frustrating because so many people said that they would join and now are all backing out. but the thing is i have set a goal for $1,000 and im pretty much set on making that goal. if that means i have to raise it all on my own so be it. i can and i will. yes it may be hard but i think its possible. i was just informed i can sell hot dogs onsite as well as i am going to be selling coffee that starbucks will be donating.

anyway im going back to watching movies and relaxing, before i start working more on relay for life stuff.

again if anyone reads this and would like to donate here is the site...


http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?team_id=417635&fr_id=15755&pg=team


thanks and God bless

disregard...

ugh people drive me crazy. why is it that everyone is the same?!?!?!?!?! GOSH seriously sometimes i wonder about the creativity of people. or at least the brilliance or shall i say lack there of... maybe the ignorance? can we blame it on that? is everyone ignorant? or are they just stupid. ugh. whatever. at least i got something cool today.

journals make everything better...

saving lives...

ok kids i just got a donation im now at 120.00!!! 880.00 to go!

Praise God!!!!!!!!!!!