Monday, June 29, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
there is no title to this.
im so tired of this. no really i am. im so sick of it all. but its so annoying. and im sure what im about to vent wont make any sense at all...
ok so im sick and when i told someone it became all about them. oh my back hurts. oh ive been sick too... blah blah blah. not oh sam are you ok?
ok so ive been kind of depressed lately and i tried to tell someone and it became all about them. wow man i want to kill myself. please help me.
ok so ive been having nightmares lately i went to tell someone about it and it became all about them. wow yeah i havent been sleeping well. man i wish i could sleep better. i just stay up and watch tv. instead of sleep.
so what do i do? i comfort them. ask if i can get them anything to make them feel better.
i stay up till three in the morning even though i have to be up really early the next day for work and convince them that life is worth it... when i doubt that myself... and i cant convince myself not to die im here convincing another death is not the answer.
i tell them some "fail proof" methods for sleeping when they never work and i still have nightmares. horrible horrible nightmares i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy.
(darn you mother... and your genetics for nightmares!)
someone this week told me i was self centered. OH how i wish it were true.
someone else this week told me how much happier i would be if i WERE self centered. meaning i am not.
how i wish for once. when i do that good old cry for help. people realize it as one last attempt for saving me. and not an example of the others i must save.
why must i be everyones savior? im not. im not anyones savior. i have done nothing to deserve this honor. yet i need one. who will be my savior? i need someone to step in and save me. im so tired of all these pathetic attempts at a cry for help.
im done crying for help. im done with everything...
ok so im sick and when i told someone it became all about them. oh my back hurts. oh ive been sick too... blah blah blah. not oh sam are you ok?
ok so ive been kind of depressed lately and i tried to tell someone and it became all about them. wow man i want to kill myself. please help me.
ok so ive been having nightmares lately i went to tell someone about it and it became all about them. wow yeah i havent been sleeping well. man i wish i could sleep better. i just stay up and watch tv. instead of sleep.
so what do i do? i comfort them. ask if i can get them anything to make them feel better.
i stay up till three in the morning even though i have to be up really early the next day for work and convince them that life is worth it... when i doubt that myself... and i cant convince myself not to die im here convincing another death is not the answer.
i tell them some "fail proof" methods for sleeping when they never work and i still have nightmares. horrible horrible nightmares i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy.
(darn you mother... and your genetics for nightmares!)
someone this week told me i was self centered. OH how i wish it were true.
someone else this week told me how much happier i would be if i WERE self centered. meaning i am not.
how i wish for once. when i do that good old cry for help. people realize it as one last attempt for saving me. and not an example of the others i must save.
why must i be everyones savior? im not. im not anyones savior. i have done nothing to deserve this honor. yet i need one. who will be my savior? i need someone to step in and save me. im so tired of all these pathetic attempts at a cry for help.
im done crying for help. im done with everything...
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