do you ever feel empty?
like its not really you...
do you ever feel hollow
a shell covering you?
like your life is always
an out of body event
like the body you own
isnt yours... you just rent
do you ever feel angry
just because its what you know?
do you ever feel bad
when you let your emotions show?
do you just apologize
to make them go away
you just say your sorry
and hope you obey?
do you ever feel chained
though nothings holding you back
do you truly want... the courage you lack?
are you doomed for eternity
in this hole of your own...
or just write this poetry
to hear your soul groan...

so i feel empty inside and im not sure what to do... and i feel as if there is nothing inside of me... its like im living a life thats not my own... im here to supervise and i over see the things going on... but this isnt really me. not really my body or my soul... its someone elses it has to be. i had such high hopes for myself... and this failure well its just not me... im not a failure i cant be right?
sometimes i just want to stay in bed all day... just leave me be...
im so broken... i feel broken... like im falling apart... inside and out... and i dont know if ill ever be fixed. i wish the things that are in my past would have never reminded me of the things ive never done... i wish they would stop harrassing me of the things i dont think ill ever be able to do... i wish the thoughts would go away... and just leave me be... i hate to be awake sometimes and now my slumber has gotten to this point again to which i am afraid to sleep... i dont know why i am ranting here... sorry