sigh... its late. i got to work at 12 to pick up my check. it wasnt there. fed ex dropped off papers and forgot to drop off our checks. so i couldnt cash it. i was going to cash it then buy lunch. its usually what i do on paydays. so being i didnt have it i was like oh its ok i have some money left from tips. i looked in my hiding place for money in my car... oh yeah... i left my money at home. sooo... i wasnt going to sit at work for two hours waiting for my paycheck. i still havent had anything to eat yet. so i drove all they way back home. got money went ate lunch. drove back to work and clocked in. curley fries didnt feel good and wanted to go home early. i told my shift that there was ABSOLUTLY no way i was going home early. i have bills i have to pay... sorry. so curley went home early and i worked his shift... oh yeah that means working from 2 till 11 45. its about nine hours. i mean its not so bad... but all day people are like judging me for different things. like this guy i work with is mad that i wont watch movies he wants to watch but ill watch movies his brother wants me to watch. its because his brother knows my standards. he knows what ill watch and what i wont. and im a horrible person because i wont watch movies about pedophiles...right? whatever. so im like hey... im sorry if my priorities are bigger than yours. that i care more about what goes in than you. whatever. and then i get home and i have an email about the same thing. like why? whats wrong with you that you dont watch rated R movies? can you not watch it for its artistic elements? i can. believe me i can. but i choose not to. i choose to be a better role model for these kids. is no one proud of me? can no one say look. i dont agree with what you are doing because GOD IS NOT A PRIORITY IN MY LIFE. but i am proud you are standing up for what you believe? Look i never said this was going to be easy and iknow God wont give us more than we can handle. but seriously. you think some people would just chill out and shut up?
UGH! and on top of this... its now one am. im still awake. dreading sleep...AGAIN.
stupid nightmares. i get stressed when im awake and now my nightmares are back. hey at least i didnt die in this on right? i mean totally being abandoned and almost killed isnt that bad right? whatever... ill get over it...
im attempting sleep now...
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3 comments:
Awww, I'm proud... I know I don't count... but I bet I know who does count. Q and he is very proud of you.
Oh, and Q said that they are prob feeling convicted that you are living what they say they believe...
I'M PROUD OF YOU TOO!!!! You hang in there girl, you're doing the right thing. God sees and I'm sure His heart is busting at your being willing to stand your ground. And, believe it or not, your coworkers will think about it too, and you don't know what seeds you plant by keeping your integrity.
glad to hear your nightmares are better - even if it's only slight.
still praying for you. won't give up.
love ya,
Ang
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