friends...

so im trying to figure things out.
ive been getting hints from God these past few weeks about friends. i just dont know what the hints are leading to. i dont know if its about trust because i dont trust many in the first place. i dont know if its about love because i dont know how to expirience for i feel as if ive never been shown love. i fear that i pick people as friends because i know at some point i will or they will abandon me. and because i am so acustomed to this i continue to follow this path. my best friend was supposed to visit me and is not able to. and i fear that he never will visit me. i am just not a big enough priority in his life. so then i think about priority. which i will get to later. but that being said. this is supposed to be my best friend and i fear that we are drifting further and further apart. who am i to talk to? and on top of that there is this long story about something that happend with an employee at work and my other friend at work i feel is avoiding me. i feel so alone in this world at times. and its frustrating because i know God is trying to tell me something but i cant seem to figure it out. leading to the next topic. priorities. in our lives we put so many things in front of God. work... play... friends... family... everything.
when the one thing we need more than life is God. and how are we to stay devoted to him with other things as our priority? i do miss my friend dearly. and i say i feel we are drawing apart because i am getting closer to God and he is not. im not saying that i am going to totally abandon him. i feel that if anyone will get him one small step closer to God it will be me. but he has been so hurt i dont know if it will happen. God is not a priority in his life. and that makes it harder on me.
we tend to go to others for our problems our friends our family stranger... alcohol drugs anything or anyone who will listen and we tend to forget that God was there the entire time with us when we were heading up to our problems. he was there in our pain he knows whats best for us. we just need to lisen...

just a thought...